I have my poles and rods and just returned from Fred Meyer with hooks, weights and power bait. Look out trout.

An’ while I was at Freddies, searching out the best prices on hooks and such, there was this dad who had 3 kids– two boys and a girl– and their needle was stuck and could only utter one word: “Dad.” Over and over and over. Until I went around to find “dad” nose buried in a flat screen, texting.

I went up to him and tapped him on the shoulder and saw it wasn’t a text it was a game. He looked at me blankly and said “What?”

“Pay attention to your kids they have been trying to ask you something for the last 10 minutes.”

He threw up his hand and said, “They have nothing to say that is important that I want to hear.”

“And you call yourself a Dad?” I exploded. I turn to the kids and said, “You have my deepest sympathies.”

The guy says, “Hey, what do ya expect… Their mother divorced me and then dumps them on me once a month. I don’t even like kids…….why don’t you take them?” and turned to walk off.

“If I take them you go to jail. The police will contact Mom to come and get them. Child abandonment is a serious felony crime.”

Apparently Fred Meyer’s security was alerted because no sooner had the words left my mouth they were there with Gresham Police in tow. No one went to jail and dad kept the kids with a stiff warning from the officer, and I silently back away muttering a prayer for the kids and their dad.

* * *

So I pay for the toys and I am in my truck munching on a York Peppermint Patty singing with my mouth full with the radio “Sergeant Peppers Lonely Hearts Club Band’s song “All Ya Need is Love”. An older couple come to the vehicle in front of me and a struggle ensues because he cannot get the key to turn in the lock. Then, with a mighty twist, he breaks the key off in the lock. This results in a full-blown 70-year-old’s temper tantrum.

But then comes the real problem. Another elderly type gent comes and asks what the first man is doing to HIS car.

Yup the reason for the keys failure was it was the wrong car and on that note I had to leave, for I thought it was very poor form to break out in gales of laughter.